Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Tempers Fuggit - But I didn't think it would be Terry Pratchett


I tried to make a long, beautiful, dramatic and literary homage to the great Terry Pratchett.

I can't, there's too much in my heart and not enough brains in here to get the right words out.


The world is suckier without him.

I am not exaggerating for Tumblr effect melodrama, this isn't about literally not being able to even.

This is about the fact that the man whose writings shaped the very bones of what makes me who I am is gone.

And I feel so sad and a little angry, because people like him aren't made like that anymore, people who have a fire in their guy and use it to poke at the backside of humanity and show us an honest, ugly and ultimately wonderful reflection of ourselves in the Discworld.

I only have the most incredibly beautiful and life-changing things.  Simple things that open your eyes and golly, how could someone use such simple words to impart such profound (and basically obvious) wisdom.

All I can say is thank you.  Thank you for Granny Weatherwax, who ever remains a mirror to my soul, I shall always find the truth in her.

Thank you for Nanny Ogg and her strawberry wobbler... and the hedgehog song...


Thank you for Vimes and his burning righteousness, his honor and sense of justice.

Thank you for Detritus, I wish him and Ruby all the best.
Thank you for Cheery, who is brave and unashamed in showing the world that yes, she is a female dwarf.  Yes, she wears makeup.  No, she will never stop wearing iron boots, and yes, its fine to use conditioner in your beard.
Thank you for Carrot, a person so kind, and just and good and well meaning, that he will never be King of Ankh Morpork.
Thank you for Nobby Nobbs, because everyone is really just human underneath it all (except maybe Nobby himself).
Thank you for Agnes Nitt, who doesn't need to be smart to look at things from different sides, and whose beauty is truly skin deep (and she does have a lovely pair of kidneys).
Thank you for CMOT Dibbler and his famous meat pies.  I now never eat meat pies.
Thank you for Moist Von Lipwig.  Because everyone deserves redemption... sometimes.
Thank you for Magrat, she's a wet hen, but a mongoose among snakes.
Thank you for Rincewind, keep running!
Thank you for the luggage
Thank you for the Bursar, may he be blessed with dried frog pills to outlast him.
Thank you for Ridcully, because all you need is fresh air...
Thank you for Tifanny Aching, the bravest wee hag of the hills.


Thank you for Death.  Thank you for his love of kittens, his penchant for late night curries and his endearing curiosity and love of us living creatures.

Thank you for letting him stand against the forces of entropy, if ever I go into the dark desert, I am glad it is with an anthropomorphic entity who SPEAKS IN ALL CAPS and his best joke so far is telling a Dwarf called Bjorn that HE WILL BE BJORN AGAIN, SEE?


Thank you for reminding me that everything is holy and Millenium Hand and Shrimp.

I am grateful, soul deep grateful for the way your words have changed my life.  My words will never be enough.

I miss you, but I suspect, as I open (for the fifth time) the first pages of Maskerade, I wont miss you for long.

For as long as I have you with me in my heart, I still ATEN'T DEAD.