Friday, 5 September 2014

Hola, good bye, hello...


What the hell? seriously? Another nonsense post?

Yes, sadly, I have dropped the ball again.

Ok, there's... reasons.  Really.

I'm so sorry I haven't been vociferous lately, even on FB - I have reduced my presence to that of newsfeed/echo chamber for other articles with the occasional comment to imply that I am equally as sharp and witty as the articles I share.

I think you all ought to know by now that is a shameful lie and a front.  I am just that good at the gift of gab.

So - I thought I'd write this short article to tell you that I am not dead or just knocked out from the devastation of losses of public figures that has happened recently.  (Now our Beloved Joan Rivers, I will never hear anyone as irreverent to small Asian children as her again). 

I have been sick.  Super, super, knocked out sick.

I have never been good with doctors and medicines, it seems my body thinks it is either a woodland elf (ew) or a hippie (extra ew) and I cannot handle medication more complex than my usual ibuprofen for my headaches.

As a result, I have lived on a roller coaster of side-effects as long as my arm and I have been swinging in both moods, appetites and physical appearance.

I am still plucking all the bristles off my back, it is a long and tedious procedure. 

This has also meant losing weight in ways that even I am not pleased about (it's not impressive to be swimming in your own clothes actually), sleeping for too long or too little and throwing up every time I smell anything that isn't oxygen. Oh and pain, stupid crappy simple pain. 

FUN STUFF.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have lost my sense of humor - TRAGEDY.

But, on the other hand - I still have my friends and family and all the people I love and damnit, I still have this brain and I have met new people and am slowly learning and re-learning new exciting things and habits. 

Yeah, that's right, fighting back - I'mma be all muscled and over excited again in no time. 


See, everyday is a new day and a new adventure no matter how shit things might seem.  


Maybe I'm just writing this entry to give everyone a big thumbs up - you can do it! - pep talk. No idea why, you're all so lovely anyways.

I am also publishing on a bona fide REAL website, and not just some shitty dear diary full of  them yucky feelings and emotes and gifs.

LOOK AT ME DOING STUFF!

I am also going to Spain! YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH

That means photos of Tapas and Canas and things that involve sunshine because oh, my god, I am so sick of this stupid grey-ass weather here in Sydney. 

I will also get my much needed breathing space to reconnect with the world and get back to my childhood roots and reconfigure myself yet again to face the big bad world when I get back.

Frankly, I think I need to just get my adventurer boots on again, I've been feeling a tad stifled since it has been a while since I got to go on a trip and my feet are super, duper itchy.

Its always good to take some time and try and do little things everyday that ground you.

There's going to be art museums, long walks, tapas, swarthy dark espanish men (and women, I'm an equal opportunist ha! [actually, not really - growing up in Spain didn't really give me that stereotypical taste for a latin lover, I got dropped on my head, I know, but what can you do, I grew up there, it isn't exotic to me]), tapas, good wine, a lot of shopping, tapas, old family and friends, tapas and maybe new friends and tapas. 

hahaha! I can't believe this poster exists
Oh, and paella, cochinillo, albondigas, calamares, oreja, churros, gambas al ajillo, fabada, chorizo, FUET, queso manchego... I could go on really.



In short, AMAZEBALLS food.  

And no, I wont miss you guys at all (kidding! well, maybe not).
You jealous yet? yeeeeeaaaaah you jelly
I wont even miss my gamez.  Well, I'm bringing my DS with me.

Upon my return, I shall be a Monster Hunter extraordinaire legend of epic proportions.  (ok, the Jhen Mohran is giving me problems, I wont lie)

And I'll miss the fact that I've been playing Resident Evil 6 co-op.  Jeebus that game is fun although I have noticed that as cool and fun as all the in-game violence is, I do sit there and get - I don't know, not offended, or really horrified - but I am finding that I acknowledge the excessiveness of the violence.  Is this a getting old thing?

I may discuss it here or maybe, on a bona fide real website, if you know what I mean.

Also, I recently played Geometry Wars.  OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT GAME (oh my god, I am really shit at it)
the most fun trip EVER
Anyway - i'm off to listen to some David Bisbal, the cool kids in Spain still listen to him right?

See you in October when I am jolly, well-traveled and fat!!!




Thursday, 14 August 2014

Stop all the clocks…


So, I think it suffices to say that we are all rather shocked and traumatised by the passing of comedy's, no, life's greatest and brightest stars.

I normally don’t care for celebrity deaths, people live, people die.  Some are influential, like Madiba and Dr Angelou, who I've spoken of before.  We pay our tributes, we give our thoughts, we remember them, we get that nice glow of fondness and gratitude, we move on.

But this felt like a punch in the gut.  A small hole dropping out from beneath you because your Genie; the one who made you laugh with innumerable impressions and goddamn, some of the dirtiest and most salacious jokes you've ever seen or heard, thought that his existence was so hopeless and desperate, that he could no longer feel like he belonged here, alive, breathing, with his family, with his friends or his fans.

The one thing people have been baffled over is how someone who brings so much happiness could have had so little for himself.

Easy, that's what depression does.  Its such an awful son of a bitch and it doesn't care how kind you are, how generous and bright your are, how willing you are to share your light with the world and how happy you are to make others happy.

It says to you; 'Yeah, its all fine and dandy that everyone thinks you're the bees knees and its all sort of nice that you're so good to the people around you, but guess what, I'm here to tell you that no matter how wonderful you really are, you're never going to feel it.  All that happiness you give other people, all that love that you're so eager to share with the world? I'm taking that away from you, I wont let you have a single ounce of it.'

Depression claims you, in a similar way that drug addiction slowly claims every aspect of your life, this does it too.  It steals your happiness and keeps it for itself, a self-indulgence hurt machine that digs its little claws in you and croons the most cruel and hateful and hurtful things into your ear and worse, it does it because it believes it loves you, it believes it and is making you believe it too.

The most horrible thing about this, because Robin Williams was a total stranger to me, is that there is no way in the seven hells that I would have even had an ounce of presence or influence in his life and yet I still feel guilt; guilt at not having been able to somehow reach out for this famous and wonderful stranger.
I can only imagine what his family is going through, my heart bleeds, it is unimaginable.

I am so sorry Mr Williams that your despair led you down the darkest roads, that sometimes drink and drugs eased the loneliness, but ultimately they only led you further into the dark.  I'm so sorry that this cruel, monstrous illness figuratively cock-blocked you from having all that wonder and joy and love from properly settling into your heart.  I am sorry we didn't notice sooner, I'm sure your family and friends were the greatest shields you had against this evil, but ultimately, you couldn't go on.

It almost makes a person really mad, that this nameless, faceless thing thinks it has the right to steal everything that is good from you, fuck it, fuck depression.

And yes, I feel strongly about this, too much maybe.  Because it hits far too close to home. 

And no, suicide isn't selfish, its desperate, its lonely, its misguided but it isn't selfish.  It’s the last resort of people whose minds are so arduously tortured that silence and nothingness becomes the only promise of respite.  That's the true evil of depression, it makes you think that silence, not love, or warmth is the only answer. 

Seriously, fuck that bastard.  That lying selfish cruel bastard.

Anyway, I have no idea what to say in the face of this tragedy.  I loved Robin Williams like one loves a favourite uncle.

He set the tone and timbre of my own personal sense of humor.  Everyone who knows me has seen my constant and really, really bad attempts at voice impersonation.  A trick I learnt from Robin from Aladdin (Fabulous Darling, I love the feathers).

He brightened every dark day with the Birdcage.  A story that at heart, is about the deep and abiding love one has for family. (Fossey, fossey fossey!!!!)

He had depth and talent coming out of his hoo-hah like no other actor.  I remember watching his interviews and knowing without a doubt I would end up in stitches. 

There was never a time when this man wasn't shining. 

And he seemed for a time, a success story.  He overcame his addictions and his demons, named a daughter after one of the coolest video games ever (maybe not the coolest character, but that is slowly changing) and damnit how can this guy not be awesome in every single way?

And to see that maybe those demons were maybe a little stronger is disheartening and tragic, maybe he just needed more time.  Or maybe he had run out.

We can only mourn for so long.  After all, at the core of all this tragedy is the face that someone lost a father, a husband, a friend.  He may not have been a personal friend but the loss is real, just maybe not that personal.

But what am I saying? I am talking like there is no hope.  Like this is all too much a sad reality of the effects of depression and the aftermath of suicide. 

It isn't. 

Sometimes, some people lose the fight, or are too exhausted to go on.  Sometimes it happens, but its not a fixed fact.

To everyone else who may relate, who may feel this breathless pain, who can relate all too well:
Its so fucking hard, I know, but damnit, keep fighting.

And when the fight gets overwhelming always remember that you do have more weapons in your arsenal than you are aware of even having.  If you ever need a happy grenade, I'mma toss you as many as you need.

If not me, someone else.  Find your wingman, hell, find a fucking platoon.

Reach out and find someone who deserves your friendship and your love, even if it is just one person.  Although, you'd be surprised (like I often am) how many people actually care for you in return.  Love and friendship aren’t just easy motifs for My Little Pony episodes, they're genuine armour reinforcements for your heart and mind.

O Captain, my captain, rest well.  Your battle is over and wherever you are, you're free. 

You won't be forgotten and your legacy will keep us strong and happy and grateful that we were ever privileged to witness you shine.  You're my hero and my hairiest dad, my best playmate and funniest laugh.  I won't forget you and you will be remembered for all the things worth remembering you for. 

For all of us left behind, let's be genies and mad scientists, peter pans and super hairy gay men, wear your rainbow suspenders and your red noses.  We have inherited his joy and his talent so lets put it to good use.

For us in Oz who may need someone to talk to, the occasional pat on the shoulder of just something to help ease the noise, we have:

And if you can, or have the physical ability to do so (I can, I think, just give me time and maybe surgery) – participate in the upcoming event Movember, which focuses on men's health and men's mental health issues.

If all else fails, even as I make my way down my own occasionally dark, cockblocky thorn riddled road; know that I love you all like Robin Williams loved to drink excessive amounts of water at a standup (most of which was used as a prop to simulate his dirty jokes, good times, good, sloppy, times).  

I'm not always around but I think about you guys fondly and even those of you I do not know at all, I think about you too and I want nothing but happiness for you because really, the world only needs happiness (and internet) and nothing much beats that.

So remember that you're gaining XP every mother fucking day.  That coffee you drank in the morning was another achievement unlocked.  You're blasting paperclips like locust in Gears of War and goddamn you are a badass, look at your Level 50 Demon Hunter armor, that shit is sparkling, and every dent and every scratch is just another battle scar anecdote you can tell to impress everyone.

Be free and happy in the here and now.  Thanks for putting up with this rant and peace out.


Nanu Nanu.

Thursday, 10 July 2014

When costumes attack – Supanova 2014 (20% less photos than last year boo) – a genuine review

So – I haven’t been writing yes? I have been busy… yes.

I say that EVERY TIME… yes.

Ok so last month was Supanova, my yearly nerd convention where I sell my stuff and generally spend three tired, sleepless and mildly croaky days having epic fun.

This year was no different, I tabled with the Geeky Bee!!! it was awesome.
my lovely co-tabler A and I
I sold all my stuff! – it was great! (ok maybe not all my stuff, like I have two items left – but whatever GREAT SUCCESS)

Things are a bit different this year.  Table prices went up to borderline exorbitant prices, sharing the table was a huge advantage since it cut my overhead cost by quite a bit and it was so good to have the company because really, despite my requests to be put next to Nekochii or I Like Shinies or Mogo & Co - I–was left all by my lonesome!
A very busy T'emporium
Further, we were split into the weirdest vendor categories ever, with hand made products being classified in the most confusing manner and hand drawn artists being relegated to their own little side of the convention floor where, from what I hear they barely got any exposure or, their product got drowned out by an oversaturated artists alley.

It was a poor attempt on the part of the event organisers to categorise all the vendors into some kind of grouping, but it didn’t work.  We ended up hearing of people who sold almost identical products being placed next to each other, when they should have been put apart in order to give some semblance of product diversity.  That's how you give vendors a chance, by making them stand out. 

Either way, most vendors that I had time to speak with complained about the same thing.  Either no one was buying or that everyone was buying something else. 

Which leads me to this conclusion:

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN – WE HAVE ACHIEVED FINAL NERD FORM.

What I mean by that is the evolution of the nerd as a consumer of marketable products has reached its peak.  We have finally reached (or will be reaching in the next 5 years or less) a saturation point where, above all things, nerd gadgets, and merchandise are just oh so easily accessible and common place that EVERYONE is getting in on the action.

I've also heard some people complain that with the sheer amount of mass produced items and official merch vendors, indie craftsters are losing out, which is where the real shame is.

The artists alley really ought to be where it is at.  Why? no, this isn't bias, its because they're the embodiment of what it means to be a geek or nerd or whatever the term is that kids use these days for being a fan of these kinds of things.  They're the expression of that enthusiasm and the hub of all future creative endeavours in the community. 

Some talented comic artists such as P, author of Pandeia could be among those to begin a new wave of indie comic sub-cultures that could encourage more and more people into the genre, in a similar way that Rooster Teeth has opened eyes and minds about what makes consumable nerd media on the internet. 
P bought this book/cabinet i made before the con even opened haha - insta-sale! yus
Instead, we are starting to get massive tables that sell, wholesale, and probably with less passion than some of the people whose tables I walked past, $20 Harry Potter timeturners or mass produced Sailor Moon pendants (most likely imported from China).  And while I wouldn’t spit on their obviously successful work model, it just means that yes, your time turner is awesome, but you probably missed out on buying a beautiful, made with love, by hand, timeturner from a guy who literally wallpapers his bedroom in Hogwarts paraphernalia.  
The latter would mean significantly more to me, not so much because of the 'hand made'-ness of it, but because it was made from the heart, by a true fan, who probably invests so much love into their product that the product is imbued with its own nerdy magic.

As such, I ended up buying a strange little adorable weebly thing that looks like something from the Labyrinth.  I don’t care that it cost me more than the two Living Dead Clothing pieces I breathlessly bought and cooed and crooned over, I watched this girl make it with love and care and that means so much to me and has made my purchase worthwhile because that little critter was not just made, he was created.
see, its a ... weeb...thing...
Oh – and Living Dead Clothing gave Black Milk a run for its money…. I may not always care about the fashion shenanigans of spandex vendors but after Black Milk's hilarious PR disaster, it was nice seeing some competition.  Having said that - these fan groups obsessing over leggings, its weird and I am trying to stay away from all that lest I become a spandex obsessed ... obssessive.. yeah.

Having said that, I just bought two very blatant copyright infringements.  Ah life.
spandex!
It was however, great to see vendors from other states, making it a proper Aussie con. 
Having said that, one of the vendors on my row took the whole Aussie artist thing a little to heart and apparently didn’t take well to ahem, non-Aussie (read: non-white) vendors and attendees.  Their little stand got taken down early because obviously, there were enough complaints about them to get them removed from site, yeesh.  However, I dont know the whole story so that may only be one part of the whole shemozzle, I do remember hearing people who waled away from the store visibly upset at things that were said to them, either regarding their ethnicity or, irrelevantly, their political affiliations.  I'm a Sith, so unless the stall was like, pro-republic, I don't know how such a conversation at a convention would get ugly. 

Also this was a three day event, from the point of view of a vendor, was a friggin waste of time.  Friday attendants were not interested in buying, considering that they were saving their money for the next day.  Our presence was rendered moot in light of the fact that all these early pass people were there for autographs and photos.

M as, well, i dont know - but he cosplayed it damn well...
Understandably, it was good to make it a three day even because none-other than Mr Stan Lee the Man had decided to grace us with his magical, ancient (yeah, he's 91, its legit) presence and boy was that useful for those of us who cannot afford to spend hours in a line.

I managed to walk straight up to him on Friday evening and just get my hilariously bad '5 Generations of X-men Tales' book signed by the fella.  He looked so precious and old, like an enthusiastic and shiny shrivelled pea who looked like he could sway off his stool at any second.  I genuinely wanted to give him a blanket, some Ovaltine and a nice glass of water for his dentures.
lovely goodies from Mogo & Co, I Like Shinies and yes - that is Stan Lee's Scribble right there...
John Barrowman (Captain Jack Harkness, Dr Who, Torchwood, apparently also Arrow) and Nikolaj Coster Waldau (JAIME FUCKING LANNISTER) we also massive fan favourites.  In particular, Mr Majesty Barrowman who, while I didn’t get to ever meet, was a true gentleman and was amazeballs and kind and sweet to everyone he met and accepted a box of tim-tams from a friend of mine and stayed till late in order to give everyone their autographs.  
The guy is a veritable rainbow of goodness and ought to be showered in sparkles and kisses everyday (I imagine his husband does that, if not, he is a very poor excuse of a husband).

Nonetheless, despite my lengthy gripe regarding the changing dynamics of purchasing power among the nerdy community, it was wonderful seeing the convention get so very big. 

I know I say it every frigging year but yes (insert reverb) – I always say this will be my last year as a vendor but I think I am coming back next year for more punishment experience.

The community continues to inspire me and even though I didn’t take as many photos (or my camera would fail at taking them) – Cosplay is getting better and more imaginative (also, the family that cosplays together, stays together folks!).  The event is a lot more open to the public with people of varying levels of interest attending and just enjoying the event.
Lovely loli S paid a visit
While this year, I didn’t buy the everloving shit out of everything, I still decided to support friends and other artists who I genuinely like (thus the purchase of the weird weebly thing).  However, on my part, I had return customers.  People remembered me form last year and oh, what a warm fuzzy feeling that gives me.  This included people who couldn’t believe how cheap my products were.  
trying to look awake for sales
But I have a reason:

This is my first year casting with resin, because these were my first pulls, I don’t feel confident enough to price them higher considering that I felt that they were first tries.  Yes I'm raising my prices for next year but that will be a proportionate price raise with the quality of the product. 
some sample cabinets of curiosity that i also made - definitely a good idea for next year
So yes, I'm going to be a few dollars pricier, but I am aware of my market share and wont make it absurdly expensive.  I love my customers and I understand their wallets as well.

All in all, Supanova was a great success, I also introduced some first timers to the event and they totally lost their con virginity.  I am so salacious ooh.

The community continues to grow and damnit, we had some great guests and a great time. 

Oh, the only improvement required on the part of the venue (apart from re-thinking the table prices and the categorisation of artists) is to have more ATMs.  Holy shit the lines were incredible. 

So – look out for my next post (yes, because I am writing again, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!) on Winterfest, every damsel's dream come true (why, because puppies, that's why).

Peace out my sparkle bubblies!

T

Thursday, 29 May 2014

My farewell letter to Maya Angelou



Dear Dr Angelou

I'm going to be cheesy for just a moment.

Sorry, my bandwagon is going to hitch up with all the others for today, how can it not?

You were one of the greatest, most shining of writers in this world, and have left us all the poorer for it.  I know you're in a better place, wherever it is you wanted to go after this life.  I know that despite your absence, your work will speak to the next generations and hopefully forge new thinkers, new speakers of peace the way you were.

Maya Angelou, you saved me, or rather, your poem 'A brave and startling truth' saved my life.

And you'll have to forgive me, this rant will ramble and have absolutely no structure (which would be a shame because you structured your poetry so beautifully and subtly…)

I have always teetered from being too sad to formulate words on some days and on others too happy to bring myself to believe that anything could ever go wrong.  Such is the way so many of us are, especially when we are young.  When we're young we get so myopic and can't see past the hole we dig ourselves into.

To paraphrase Seamus Heaney a bit; your pen was the shovel that dug me out into the sun with just the opening stanza of my favorite poem:
 
Traveling through casual space 
Past aloof stars, across the way of indifferent suns 
To a destination where all signs tell us 
It is possible and imperative that we learn 
A brave and startling truth

And just like that, I am made humble, small and yet strong and hopeful all at once and the feeling I felt when the full impact of those words hit me was so liberating that even on really, really bad days, just that stanza alone is enough to wash over me like a balm.  It feels good to know I'm part of a bigger journey, my problems become small and bearable when faced with the wonder of 'casual space'.   

It helps me so much; you remind me that I am made of stardust and I become happy to share the same experiences as the rest of humanity, flawed and small as we sometimes seem to be.  You remind me of how magnificent we are as a people, how burning and brilliant we are despite everything.  This poem made me feel proud to be human, proud that I shared words like yours, but only you could structure in such a way to leave us feeling inspired.

You have this cooling effect like sea foam over hot coals.  It is so refreshing to read your poetry, every time I read this one though, my breath hitches just a bit and I wonder what it feels like to have vision as big as yours.

That poem put everything into perspective for me, not to mention how powerful the rest of that epic 11 stanza poem is.

You've always had this ability to take the long view about life, which is probably why you're so inspired. You don't speak about life as an amalgam of separate moments but as one long slow blink of an eye, spanning the millennia from the beginning of time.  It's like you see sparks of infinity which you described in your poetry.
And of course, there is the fact that your wit and courage is a powerful voice for women, and for African Americans, you are one of their finest warriors in the struggle for equal rights in the USA. 

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise. 

Damn lady, you was classy even when you was biting a chunk out of them, and oh, did I mention, YOU MADE TUPAC CRY.  Mad props… goddamn

So rest in Power you amazing, phenomenal woman, you are the finest of all of us and I can only hope that your words forge a better person of me, us and generations to come.

I'll miss you, but probably not that much, because you're in the place that matters in my heart.

May the universe embrace you on your final journey.

T

Edit:  I wrote a hell of a lot more rant, but after going to lunch and doing errands, my mind had time to cool down and detach a bit and not be as melodramatic as it originally sounded.  Perspective is an awesome thing.  That was something I also learned from Dr Angelou's work.

The Rock Cries out to us Today
A Rock, A River, A Tree
Hosts to species long since departed,
Mark the mastodon.
The dinosaur, who left dry tokens
Of their sojourn here
On our planet floor,
Any broad alarm of their of their hastening doom
Is lost in the gloom of dust and ages.
But today, the Rock cries out to us, clearly, forcefully,
Come, you may stand upon my
Back and face your distant destiny,
But seek no haven in my shadow.
I will give you no hiding place down here.
You, created only a little lower than
The angels, have crouched too long in
The bruising darkness,
Have lain too long
Face down in ignorance.
Your mouths spelling words
Armed for slaughter.
The rock cries out today, you may stand on me,
But do not hide your face.
Across the wall of the world,
A river sings a beautiful song,
Come rest here by my side.
Each of you a bordered country,
Delicate and strangely made proud,
Yet thrusting perpetually under siege.
Your armed struggles for profit
Have left collars of waste upon
My shore, currents of debris upon my breast.
Yet, today I call you to my riverside,
If you will study war no more.
Come, clad in peace and I will sing the songs
The Creator gave to me when I
And the tree and stone were one.
Before cynicism was a bloody sear across your brow
And when you yet knew you still knew nothing.
The river sings and sings on.
There is a true yearning to respond to
The singing river and the wise rock.
So say the Asian, the Hispanic, the Jew,
The African and Native American, the Sioux,
The Catholic, the Muslim, the French, the Greek,
The Irish, the Rabbi, the Priest, the Sheikh,
The Gay, the Straight, the Preacher,
The privileged, the homeless, the teacher.
They hear. They all hear
The speaking of the tree.
Today, the first and last of every tree
Speaks to humankind. Come to me, here beside the river.
Plant yourself beside me, here beside the river.
Each of you, descendant of some passed on
Traveller, has been paid for.
You, who gave me my first name,
You Pawnee, Apache and Seneca,
You Cherokee Nation, who rested with me,
Then forced on bloody feet,
Left me to the employment of other seekers--
Desperate for gain, starving for gold.
You, the Turk, the Swede, the German, the Scot...
You the Ashanti, the Yoruba, the Kru,
Bought, sold, stolen, arriving on a nightmare
Praying for a dream.
Here, root yourselves beside me.
I am the tree planted by the river,
Which will not be moved.
I, the rock, I the river, I the tree
I am yours--your passages have been paid.
Lift up your faces, you have a piercing need
For this bright morning dawning for you.
History, despite its wrenching pain,
Cannot be unlived, and if faced with courage,
Need not be lived again.
Lift up your eyes upon
The day breaking for you.
Give birth again
To the dream.
Women, children, men,
Take it into the palms of your hands.
Mold it into the shape of your most
Private need. Sculpt it into
The image of your most public self.
Lift up your hearts.
Each new hour holds new chances
For new beginnings.
Do not be wedded forever
To fear, yoked eternally
To brutishness.
The horizon leans forward,
Offering you space to place new steps of change.
Here, on the pulse of this fine day
You may have the courage
To look up and out upon me,
The rock, the river, the tree, your country.
No less to Midas than the mendicant.
No less to you now than the mastodon then.
Here on the pulse of this new day
You may have the grace to look up and out
And into your sister's eyes,
Into your brother's face, your country
And say simply
Very simply
With hope
Good morning. 


Wednesday, 21 May 2014

Sorry... Sorry... um.. yeah... sorry, have a gif party...


Oh my god, Its May...

I AM SO SORRY. (ok, maybe not SO sorry, but I am sorry...)
So, so, sorry
Can I use 'I've been busy' as an excuse? because I have been, really, for realsies.

I feel a little stretched thin nowadays, which probably isn't good but on the other hand, I enjoy being able to fill my days with something to do.

I am filling my hours with house chores and arts and crafts, and I have decided to be really really silly, and have decided to compete in this competition so i can win sweet sweet BPRD lootz.  I am really hoping to get something really nice done and get a tad of attention from someone in the magical cosmic world of... something.

Also, I just really really want Mignola-Senpai to notice me.
I have been also completely overwhelmed with family things, my niece and nephew are the cutest things that ever patootied and my Sundays are usually spent driving to Cherrybrook (please note, I can drive, doesn't mean I like doing it), so i can play with these monsters.

Also - I love our dogs, so I am willing to do the 'agonizing' half hour drive to Cherrybrook to lunch, play with bubbies and then, promptly without fail, have a nap with the two dogs at 3:30.  Also my cousin occasionally grabs me to play some multi-player BattleDuty of whatever warzone dudebro shooter game he is playing and I usually (but very successfully) pray and spray the entire screen.
my babies
I am also a full-on swimmer, so Tuesdays revolves entirely around me being able to fish around at the pool, I even imagine my practice laps at work.  Because maybe no one has noticed, but secretly, I am a mermaid.  Not the soppy in love with a douchey price type (yes, Eric is a douche, seriously, he finds a hot, mute girl at the beach and starts getting all hot for her, but as soon as the foxy brunette with the sick voice wanders, he drops her like a fucking hot potato - FUCKING DOUCHE, damn Ariel, you can do so much better).

Having said that, I want to show you this....
The most beautiful mermaid tails in the world by the Mertailor
Aren't they the most wonderful things that have ever existed since the invention of sliced bread?
Can I please have a sugar-daddy that could buy me one of these? Or an employer who is willing to give me a salary and as a bonus, one of these? (payment in complimentary fish tails sounds really cool actually).

I have also started writing short stories... which end up not being short.  I got inspired by an art commission by Buddy P, write of extraordinarily rich and lovely graphic novel Pandeia, to draw me a character as a reward for his kickstarter project.  I wrote a short story based on this character but eventually it evolved into its own monster.  I have a summarized version of the story but I don't think I can attach it separately.  I think I might post it as something separate.

More importantly, I am in full T'EMPorium mode, I sleep, eat and breathe the T'EMPorium and I am proud to announce that I have set up my (empty) etsy shop and have most of my stock almost ready for my big re-launch at SupaNova.  I have my merchandise mostly ready, the decor for the stall, and eeeeeee - business cards!!! so exciting!!!

Also, I am in dreamy, dreamers mode because STAN LEE IS COMING TO SUPANOVA AND I JUST MIGHT HAVE A STROKE.  John Barrowman is also coming so I will have two strokes, oh and quite unlikely as this seems, a gay man will give me multiple org-... nerdgasms... yes.

I need to plan my costumes because I really wanna ham my products up with some nice product placement, on me, that is, because I cannot afford models.
Photo by J (thanks!) - sneaky preview of the final products!!!
I am also dangerously close to increasing my corset collection.  Which is impractical and silly and weird because who wears a corset to watch Captain America anyway?

Oh, guys - Captain America... that was the most perfect Marvel movie, like, ever.  Totes.
I have been to the cinema quite a bit (as in, more than once) these past few weeks and I must say, I have really enjoyed the movies I've seen.  Totally worth the $21 FUCKING DOLLARS for a ticket.  (Ok, i lie, I watch these movies using vouchers).
Even... yes... that Zack Snyder ABOMINATION that was 300: Rise of an Empire.  I am a little bit worried he will turn the new batman/superman movie into a douchefest but I am going to keep faith because Sin City was pretty good.

Gosh, isn't everyone disappointed that Bryan Singer, director of what I assume is the goddamn amazing X-Men: Days of future past a complete asshole? Because I am, I really hope this becomes his last gig and he gets his disgusting ass thrown into jail.  Seriously.

In other news, I have caught the flu three times since the beginning of fall.  Three. Times.
Oh, and all those weddings whose hen's night I have been attending? worth it.  I am so happy for all my friends and whatever, my dress was two sizes too big for me and well, it was also very hot in Adelaide and I threw up and it was all very, very lovely.

Also, I'm going to be an auntie again because J is preggers again with baby number 2 but she (yes, its a girl!) is tiny so I guess we all have no choice but to call her nugget.

I am very excited for nugget to be born.  However, current adorable baby niece is hilarious, she makes faces and she does this weird crawl and she screams so she has a new nickname: Nazgul.

So it seems that despite the sudden craziness of my day-to-day I am quite chipper (probably a very brittle mask to stop me from screaming down the street).  I will no doubt collapse in an exhausted and weeping heap by Mid June but whatever.

I have also booked my tickets and hotels for Spain in September. SO EXCITED ALL THE TAPAS NOM NOM NOM.

So, um, yeah.  That's my current dear diary, I guess.  Kris is leaving EXO, because everyone cares about Kpop right?
This is pretty much what most Kpop ends up feeling like to me
Also - what has been a recent movie that you enjoyed? why? I'm always interested in hearing critique of film because i always end up not realizing many things about the things i watch until someone else points them out to me.

Oh and is it possible to marry a TV show?  Because True Detective is my fiance.  Totally.

magotes for all of you!!! (I don't know, I like the word okay?)
T
Oh, and enjoy some pre-X-men love goodies
Bromance is like, infijillionty time better than Xavie/Magneto slash...



Friday, 28 February 2014

Pooppity Hoppity - Its a post...er... postitty?


Errr… happy new year and two months?! (disclaimer - GIF PARTY BELOW)

Let's do this right
Hello – We survived!
So – Hmmm, lots of stuff happened…
And then I burned out – major – crash. and. burn.

Oh my god… its been a cray-cray past two months.
I mean c'mon, Christmas – who doesn’t get insanely busy during that time?.. ok, people who don’t celebrate it.  But still, here in Aus, its summer and its all about going out and going to the beach and festivals and party and the Sydney Festival was on and damn, so much stuff has been happening.
I mean, what's with all my buds suddenly getting married everywhere?

Check this out:


  • Friday night; hen's night out for one bride (sangria, sangria, sangria);
  • Saturday all day; hen's 'tea' (as in drinking tea but mostly drinking vodka punch out of teacups) in the Blue Mountains (beautiful views, hilarious talks about adult toys and champagne)
  • Sunday; quiet daytime wedding with friends and family;
  • Following Friday; flight to Adelaide to attend a 45-degree-in-the-sun-40-degree-in-the-shade garden wedding (super pretty and so lovely though). 
Aaaaand shut down.

Guyz, I'm too old for all this party hardy.  Seriously.
I feel so tired and worn out and damnit if I haven’t actually had a few people telling me that I look like I'm going to die or I just look like plain shit – thanks. 

So, after an actual crash and getting doctors to prod me, I am feeling super duper dandy.  Still tired, but not too tired to possibly, say, roll on the floor with puppies, or finger paint dinosaurs with my baby nephew, or gesticulate wildly while watching The Legend of Korra.
I am also not too tired to play the Witcher 2 either. 

OK, Guys, guyze…. omg… guyz… I am like, so, sooooo, In Love guyze.

seriously.... look at that... holy shit.... SO BEAUTIFUL!!! (and I'll admit, Triss looks good)
 The Witcher 2 is a masterpiece guyze. 

I can't play any other game (except Monster Hunter – that that's my 'professional' commitment so it doesn’t count) right now other than the Witcher. 
HOLY-MOTHER-OF-ORGANIC-WHOLEGRAIN-FED-RUM-BOTTLING-GOD – that game is Lush. Luuuuuuush.

I have done any skanky stuff yet and I actually can't wait – so far, I have had Geralt do these smirks at girls which, I assume, according to someone with no genitalia, is supposed to come off as either sexy or charming.  It actually comes off as passing wind, but hey, at least it doesn’t look rapey.

Etsy store coming soon!!
I am also in production mode.  As in, I am casting a resin piece almost every night and I am already building up a steady supply of thingies to make into prettier thingies so I can start making big thingies!!


Ignore tired face...
 I also started making these!!!


I am not embarrassed to say I feel rather loving and motherly towards these.  I had so much fun making them.

I also made my own color palette of eyeshadows using my new purchases from the greatest Nerdy Mineral Make Up Makers.  Each colour is nerdy themed and golly oh my aren't they the prettiest things!!!!!
So – in terms of New Years' Resolutions – my year of adventure has begun.  I mean, I have gone to Adelaide, that's like, a big deal right?
So, looking forward to meeting new people (making friends with Spanish strippers and another stripper called Julie apparently has been a strange, strange theme this month);catching up, and falling in love with aliens (and coffee jelly shots apparently [NOTE TO SELF AND NOTE TO YOU – DRINKING IS BAD, SO, SO, BAD]).
Other planned adventures for this year include:

·         Tripping around in Fatherland Spain for a month in September!!!

·         Eat all the Doritos

·         Silver jewellery classes

·         Invade Japan – steal all Gundams

·         Scuba lessons!
I'm also going to see KYARY PAMYU PAMYU THIS MARCH!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I always tell myself I'll also be more creative, which honestly, I think I am, except I always feel like I'm never doing enough. 

I feel this is a common thing among people who like doing creative arts and crafts (or any creative medium).  As if every minute we don’t spend drawing or sculpting or rendering or forging is a minute wasted, it’s a bit of a slippery slope of danger zone-ness because the more you force yourself to be creative the more anxious about your activities you become.
I have two sketchbooks which I keep feeling are being neglected, my tablet isn’t out of its box yet and boxes filled with craft stuff (and a dead cicada in a bottle) which keep judging me because they're gathering dust.

I have a portrait of Daenerys which I now have no idea what to do with.

I think I've shown this before, still dont know what to do with it
Any ideas guys?

Also – I want to hear about your New Year's Resolutions – whatever the hell they are, be it to win the chocolate ├ęclair championship or to ensure your farts smell better for the comfort of your fellow man (this should genuinely be a scientific endeavour).
So yeah – tell me, TELL ME.  Even if they're not resolutions, just plans or vague ideas, who knows, we might encourage each other and before you know it, you're driving a Jaeger called Banana Delta. 


I am that good at motivating people.
The podcast I've been on is on hold.  The host has been pretty busy and some of the later podcasts we've done haven’t been put on there yet.  Who knows, maybe I'll do more, or maybe this is the glorious end of my talking loudly into tablets days.

Also – sparkledragon, graphic wizard extraordinaire Paul is kickstarting his massively amazing and inspiring graphic novel Pandeia.  I have all the current issues and I love this story.  Moreso, I love watching his progress as I see his work improve with every page.  He is, as I have mentioned before, highly decorated with the title of Amazeballs and you should check him out.
I have also been catching up on some podcasts which I listen to while killing time at work:

Do you like jokes? yes, you like Disney? yes, you like video games? wrestling? comics? MacDonalds? penis jokes… yes? – Laser Time is for you. (Seriously, these guys are adorable)
AISHA TYLER'S GIRL ON GUY – 'nuff said.

So – unless life decides to give me another swift kick in the pants (I'm exhausted even writing this up – ew), you will soon see this page renovated with a new layout or at the very least, a different colour scheme.  Hopefully.
These are all hopes and dreams, provided I do not get sucked into the strange world that is the Walking Dead and Supernatural fandom (yes, I am finally watching these… what the hell man).

Otherwise, you wont hear from me until the Sochi Winter Olympic games is over, or the NBA… whatever.
Goddaym LeBron
I love the winter games, they're infinitely more hard-core than the summer games.  And something about the snow and the ice (cryogenic effect?) just makes every winter athlete hot, like fire.  (I also have an athlete crush on Torah Bright, OMG she is so adorable).
It has also been the season of all things loverly and sparkleful - the Sydney LGBT Mardi Gras!! For those who live under a non-Australian rock, this is a huge touristy and awesome event here in Sydney (Arizona take note, being fab is good for the economy - even our ATMs totally work it)


Until then, sparklehugs!!!
T