Friday, 27 May 2011

Don't laugh - I'm Dying Here!!

So - In light to the reaction of a post I made a while ago somewhere else, I must address the REAL reason this blog has come into existence.
This is important. I made illustrations (well, one, maybe two) to prove it.

I'm pretty sure other people have all sorts of self-comfort remedies in times when fevers run high and noses clog or aches and pain relegate you to the smooshy lubbely warmth of BED.
I adore my bed in times of sickness, but it seems my body has it out for me and enjoys furthering its vendetta against me in all sorts of epic and bizarre ways. Sometimes, the outside world tries to collaborate and invents all sorts of evil contraptions to torture me with.
So without further ado, I present:

Tara's Fevered Adventures! now with 20% spittle!

So anyway, one time, long ago, during my University years - I had a 3000 word paper due. I had some sort of flu, or cancer. But I am ok now, so I guess it wasn't cancer.

I didn't really realise I was sick. Our dorm was always cold and I slept next to the window. Further, I had a habit of sleeping with long johns, pyjamas, leg warmers, socks, arm warmers, a scarf, gloves and a cute sleeping hat not unlike the one Naruto wears except that it was a yellow hat, with a smiling cat face on it...
In theory, it should have been cute. I think my roommate had the feeling that she was rooming with a mildly psychotic cat lady, without the cats, except the one on my head.

Anyway, I had a paper due that week and I was steadily getting sicker and sicker by the hour. By the time I trudged into the Uni library to use their computers to write my paper I was pretty much swaying along the hallway and amiably ambling into invisible, warm cuddly people otherwise know as the other students.

Eventually I found my seat and started typing.
Now you must know, when I type a paper - I am all SRS BSNS. You cannot stop me short of an earthquake or maybe a free PS3 (maybe, this needs to be tested out - offers?). I am like a Mr T of essays and I generally give people death glares if they interrupt me in the middle of typing about how the sudden paradigm shift from communalistic philosophy to individualistic philosophy has irrevocably altered gender status in society within the context of intra and extraneous social practices... and stuff...

So anyway, I was sick during this epic adventure of societal discussion. And, much to my desk mate's consternation, hallucinating. A bit.

Well, according to him, a lot.

I asked him, apparently (yeah right), about squirrels. And apparently, I started typing about something else halfway through a paragraph. Also, I apparently started making strange car noises, as if I was trying to cough but my concentration could not afford to break on account of my throat muscles spasming.

Either way, I was slowly beginning to slide down my seat as my entire body attempted to revert to the usual lie-and-curl-position, as it is prone to when I am extremely ill. It was like watching a very angry, rodent obsessed slug, leaving a slightly sweaty train of scarves and jacket behind.

I hadn't realised it, but I was still wearing my sleeping hat. But to my credit, I was wearing normal shoes.
Eventually the only thing you could see of me were my furiously typing fingers, a thick sweater and two red-rimmed baleful eyes glaring daggers at the squirrels that were pulling me under my desk to drag me off to Narnia.

I think at one point I eventually slumped over and probably yelled something quite heroic. I do not remember.

So, I'm not good with medicines. I don't mind them, I know they're necessary, I don't mind the taste, its just that when I'm sick, my throat and ears, oddly enough, go on strike.
Which leads me to flu medicines and how they are engineered to kill us.

Swallowing daily supplements is fine for me. Cod liver oil? sure - gross, but ok. Centrum? yeah , all good.
Flu medicine? NO. Body does not want.
Its like... its like having a baby through your throat. Only backwards. And while I don't really know what having a baby in general actually feels like, I can safely ascertain that swallowing my Dimetapp Liquid Flu capsules pretty much feels like that.
I mean, what went through the mind of the person designing those things? I imagine it went like this:
Some guy in a dreary medicine lab (C1) starts making the liquid capsules and his colleague (C2) comes along.
C1: I really hate making these boring capsules.
C2: Make them bigger then, big is cool nowadays, its like, extreme.
C1: People might choke on it dude.
C2: yeah, but at least they're bigger, its like, extreme.
C1: you're right, I'll make them bigger.
And so it went. Clearly - no one has complained about the extreme size of the capsules because C1 clearly kept his job and is still making extreme Dimetapp Liquid Flu Caps.
I mean - seriously look at the size of this shit!!


My fingers aren't tiny - these things are HUGE.


So anyway, having to drink two of these babies every four hours and subsequently birth them in reverse through my mouth (with my metaphorical water breaking in that, I pretty much gurgle and choke on my own dribble and half swallowed water) has not only let my throat extremely paranoid of anything bigger than a peanut, but I have also learnt how to become a not so becoming ornamental fountain. Sort of, if you want an ornamental fountain that makes strange cat noises and gushes acidy medicated, melted plastic water (oh and drool too).
Taking this medicine makes me want to stay sick and possibly die. Its that bad. Even Sad Keanu didn't want to make a choice:


And thus, Neo died of Pneumonia, thus never liberating us from the Matrix.


It's not all that bad. Being sick for me means a type of adventure. Albeit a scary one.
Sometimes, when, I am completely fevered and delirious and shaking like a wind-up marimba monkey under my blankie (yes, blankie, its a Strawberry Shortcake one, thankyouverymuch) I like to listen to music to cheer me up.
This is where things start to go terribly wrong.
Normally, I listen to oldies but goodies. I suppose I get nostalgic for the 80's when I am delirious or something.
Anyway, I always put that great energising zinger of a song: Maniac - by Michael Sembello from Flashdance.
You know that one, with the awesome dance move: running-on-the-spot-with-sexy-knees-awesome-dance-manoeuvre-like-that-sexy girl-in-the-video-for-Flashdance's-What-a-Feeling. Yeah, That one.

Anyway, it is a very energising song, it makes anyone want to dance, even shaking, leg warmered, blanket covered delirious people like me. Especially delirious, no pyjama bottoms (I don't know why), leg warmered, blanket covered people like me.

Eventually, you find me sliding around in my socks and leg warmers (with no pyjama bottoms) and a giant blanket wrapped around my head like a toga doing the awesome running on the spot move around the house. I am invincible in those moments, and it can go on till about three in the morning.



Sadly, this is not a very accurate picture. I do not have superman undies.



When these strange fits of locomotion do not overtake me however, I generally feel like the world is ending. it is usually true, because I am often on the kitchen floor choking on my own spit and half disintegrated Dimetapp Liquid Flu Capsules.

As such, when I am not choking, shaking, dancing, running on the spot, painting heroically towards the horizon, I am typing. And that is how this blog was made.

Oh - and crappy picture is copyright me! © Tara Naval

Monday, 23 May 2011

My Epileptically Coloured Childhood Cartoons

So when I was younger I used to watch a cartoon called Jem. I did research on it a while ago and found out it was a cartoon made to promote a set of new toys that were being released.
Either way, I adored Jem - it had 0% princess in it and it wasn't anime.


Yeah - it's THAT old... shut up



Even though I predominantly grew up on anime, mainly because Spain was importing what I presume was cheap cartoons from Japan as opposed to the US, I had some pretty staple western cartoons to look back on, one being X-men, Thundercats and the other being Jem, even if it didn't air for that long.
I have really muddled memories of the cartoon, I was so young and so ADD without actually being ADD. But I mainly remember that Jem was the lead singer in a band - and she had magic earrings that changed her costume and appearance to whatever she wanted.


She was like a punk rock Sailor Moon, on crack, and tights, and pink hair (ok - that's a more anime normal thing but whatever), and her boyfriend was butt ugly, even worse than Ken for Barbie. One episode had a volcano and she was inside it - and for some reason she didn't burn, and the lava was pink, but that may have been the bad image quality of my 1992 television.
My memory wasn't all that wrong. Jem was in a band called Jem and the Holograms, and their rival band was called the Misfits, and Jem did have magic earrings that changed her appearance. I actually never knew there were toys though - but then, back in those days I preferred My Little Pony, G.I Joe, Barbies and St Seiya figurines (yes i liked Barbies and G.I Joe - Ken wasn't good enough for me so i used manlier men in my games) .
So anyway, I am a polyvore addict when I have the time to do some collage sets on it. I know a lot of people use it for fashion but i like making little pictures up - even though this particular set is more fashion themed, it is inspired by my fave pink haired heroine from back in the better day.



Jem Kei






Anyway - I'l probably post polyvore sets when I'm feeling particularly inspired, I've never been able to share my sets onthere because most of the people there are mainly fashionistas and as much as I love fashion I can only look at so many pairs of YSL shoes and beige dresses before I slit my wrists.


So there BRIGHT COLOUR FOR MONDAY!!!! yeeeeeey


So what are your inspiring childhood cartoons? Even some anime - I might even make a polyvore set for it.


Extra tidbit: I asked a few months back some of my friends of mine in the Anime club if they remembered a really old cartoon with space cowboys and robot horses, the horse could talk and there was a generally stupid girl and there was a black dude and more robot horses and blond guys and stuff.


After some rather difficult research I found that my question held three answers because my convoluted brain had watched three separate cartoons and amalgamated them into one huge futuristic western mess.


Saber Rider and the Star Sherrifs - I mostly remember the derp that was the girl - and the really weird guy on the horse


Galaxy Rangers - I remember the blond, just the blond.... Oh and like captain planet - the team was ever so PC!!!


and my most memorable of the space cowboy cartoons:


Bravestarr - he had a fucking talking horse!!! with a gun!!!!


These three cartoons weren't massive parts of my life, but I had watched them regularly on TV every afternoon. I think I watched Bravestarr the most faithfully although I don't remember the talking horse being that scary looking.


I might do a thundercats polyvore one day - just to see if I can achieve a whole new level of fashion weird.
Thundercats, thundercats HoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOooo!!!!!!!!

Friday, 20 May 2011

My TL:DR review

Firstly, I apologise for the Camwhoring - I am being an absolute hypocrite with posting shite pictures of myself in bathrooms trying to not look derpy in my self-portrait so that you can look at my face and think I'm some sort of cool and edgy model and stuff.
I assure you - I am as derpy as you think I am.


Unfortunately - My second post already fails at convincing you that I am sensible and modest and not vain - hah hah... well...I LIEK MAKEY UP AND LIKE SHOWING OFF HOW PRITTI I AM BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE GIVES ME THAT PRIVILEGE CAUSE I NOT MODEL!

and stuff
I'm only beautiful on the outside XP

Anyway...


This last month has been a roller coaster of excitement for me. I have finally come to the end of the ride, not so much dizzy and throwing up half way through the loop-the-loop and having my gross land on a hapless bystander holding a balloon and/or fairground snack, but rather, I have come off this high; making horrendous tortured animal noises with my nose and generally typing random shit while I have a fever. I have also tried to bake, more on that later...

To sum up the last month - We have had easter; therefore chocolate, a chunk of family members arriving from the Philippines; therefore more food and noise and shenanigans and my Cousin's BEAUTIFUL wedding in Terrigal (photos next time); therefore more food and booze.


All in all - I have gained a shit-ton of weight and have been buzzed on fluffy love. And champagne, but whatever.


Last weekend we had my other cousin's engagement party. So much <3 !!! My aunt, the lucky gal and meh - all red from fever, wine and outdoor heater

It was a family affair, some oh, I don't know, 50-60 of us. This of course completely befuddled my new cousin in law whose idea of family did not include cousins, uncles, aunties and so on and so forth.


Our immediate response was - that's not how Filipino families (or Asian ones for that matter) work, we don't really have a concept of a nuclear family, we just have everyone.


It was an interesting subject that immediately threw into contrast the social differences between eastern culture and western. It isn't that much of a big deal but as someone who studied sociology/anthropology - it is interesting to see this kind of social thinking in action. Josi was perplexed, not offended or upset, but it was interesting how she couldn't really wrap her head around the concept.
Being a product of both worlds, I am able to understand her confusion but was also able to explain it to her in ways that she understood - I sounded dorky and bookish.


Anywaaaay - I tried to bake for the ocassion - S'mores brownies. My first attempt at these didn't turn out so well, I baked the brownies with the marshmallow on top which led to the brownies cooking more slowly and the marshmallows burning, then melting into the brownies until the mixture became brown marshmallow with brownie flavouring.


Apparently though - they were delicious and everyone ate my mangled sugar mutations up. There was even a theory that there was a 'special' ingredient. I swear there is not.


My second attempt was visually more successful, I originally got the idea from the wonderful Darla at Bakingdom, who makes the most inspiring treats ever (including my upcoming project - Butterbeer!). This time, I reread her recipe and realised she originally made the same mistake as me. So this time - I followed her advice baked the brownies first and then put marshmallows on top.


It worked! the marshmallows toasted and inflted and turned into a nice - creamy slightly burnt treat on the top. Unfortunately - my brain thought that wasn't good enough.


I added more marshmallows on top of those.



Instead of letting them bake and burn I allowed them to melt with the heat of the still hot brownies until they melted without loosing the cute pastel colours they came in.


The result was visually adorable:



Eee! it looks like a quilt!



It also resulted in it being ultra sweet. Too sweet for my taste tester - mum. I had made a seond batch with the leftover batter and mallows. It was really difficult to serve since the marshmallow was so sticky.I didn't bring the brownies to the engagement party in the end - for fear of giving everyone there diabetes. And knowing Filipino food, it would not have been hard to do so, we already had enough treats there, we brought good booze instead.


Ok - now to the camwhoring. I wore my first JSK ever bought from Bodyline - I love it to pieces and it looks so elegant without being too outrageously formal. Actually I didn't stand out that much which is what I try to go for since loving lolita fashion doesn't mean you have to make yourself look like something out of a barbie catalogue. I've also never really worn this JSK with a shirt underneath - so normally the effect isn't as pretty. I must say, it looks lovely with a shirt underneath, I wonder why I never did it before?


My makeup had to be a bit underwhelming, but I wanted something pale and bright so it would stand out in the night but needed to complement it with the rest of my face remaining simple. I always have this great frear that I'm piling on too much simply by applying eyeshadow and foundation.
The M.A.C Wonder Woman lipstick is called Lustre Marquise, despite the ridiculous name its actually a nice nude pink which makes my lips look paler and glossy without making my lips lose much of that volume that lipsticks tend to give me.
I used a little bit of mineral foundation powder but not enough to cover my uneven skin or blemishes. This is cause I don't like my face looking even, it makes it look flat and it looks extremely obvious I'm wearing makeup. I kind of go all out on the blush to sculpt my face and that's about it.


In this instance I used Sakura from M.A.C's new Quite Cute collection. It's Purple! actually, it's a very light purple with a darker fuchsia heart in the centre. I applied the blush liberally because the effect is really subtle. then, with a smaller fluffy brush I dabbed it into the dark heart and used that darker colour to add extra depth lines under my cheekbones. It still looked really subtle...



Finally I used my trusty Revlon Custom Eyes Palette, using mainly the lilac, fuchsia and a touch of green.


I just realised I didnt put a shot of my eyeshadow - Its on my other USB - so I'll upload it later - DAMNIT!!!


As usual - I used my fave scent - Dior Addict2 (I will one day rant about its awesomeness separetely). The result is kind weak I must say - but I like to call it subtle.
If you squint you can see the green, and purple/fuchsia. It makes the face look paler (especially the purple blush) but it also gives the effect of complimentary shades as opposed to just looking like colours pasted on your face. So all my contours shadowed purple and all my highlights were slightly glimmery with green. Does that even make sense? ugh - I hate explaining colour theory.


In short, I looked pale, vacant faced and quite derpy. But I liked it.


Anyhoo, the dinner was great as usual - there was a lot of family, there was Michael jackson blaring loudly in the backyard. I did not spill my food, and, oddly enough I didn't eat as much as I'd liked - there was just too much to make my mind up.


So yeah. Hopefully that wasn't too traumatizing - I mean, I put pictures of food and swore a bit to make it exciting right? right? A


Ah bugger it - go look at some puppies






Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Oh no - it begins...

You know its there, lurking in the dark corners of Interspace.

It has beady little eyes, a crooked mouth. It likes Doritos...

When it's happy it makes a 'mlep' noise and smacks its lips. It doesn't have lips though.

Creepy.

That's right, my blog has officially (again) begun.

Please forgive me. I have no idea what came over me, I really don't.

First I'm typing away, wondering when I will ever manage to update and upload artwork on DeviantArt and next thing I know, my fingers are vomiting my words onto the Internet. Damnit. You win this time Desire for Internet Fame. I shall fade into obscurity yet.

Yet for all intents and purposes, I highly doubt this blog will come to much. I have also started a carbon copy of this blog on Livejournal - oops.

To be honest I had totally forgotten I even created a blog, years and years ago - when I was but a wee idealistic university student. So instead of agonising on creating a new one (which I already did anyway) - I'd work on what I have instead and what has resulted is that I am now managing not one - but four blogs.

I wont really talk about anything substantial. On occasion I just may get emotional. But hopefully - I shall be phonetically and grammatically accurate when doing so, thus looking less like a pre-pubescent, badly haircut whelp with first world problems. Yes, first world problems, you heard me. I will complain that the world is not fair because I am relatively healthy (false, actually) and can at the very least afford food, rent, and Doritos, but the world owes me big time because it does not spoon feed me my dreams with a rainbow spoon, with diamonds, and ponies.

An I am still waiting for my unicorn (dashing knight in dented and well pummelled armor is a bonus [if the armor is shiny it means he doesn't really get out and do knighty stuff - loser])

I have no idea what else to write for my first post:

suggestions?

I might draw a few things, or Photoshop general asshattery if I have time. I need to pretend like work is more important and that I am simply magnanimous enough to occasionally pollute the Internet with the occasional sliver of 'hsphfffrt*$11!!' that resides in my brain (I think, that, having being said that I now copyright the word 'hsphfffrt*$11!!').

Oh - and I am sick today. Great way to start a blog T, when your face is slightly puffy and looking more and more like a marshmallow, your index finger has an infected cut and your gut is punching itself into oblivion... nice move.

So - without further ado...








That's right - i want your attention.

I want your attention like Snape wants manly loving. That's right, you heard me.

P.S. - Anyone can post comments - but leave some sort of contact (I think it asks for your email anyway) so I can respond to your visionary input (swear I wont bite).